This CNY just amplified how broken we are as a family and as individuals of this household.
Last year, I went reunion dinner on dad's side. It resulted in a year long Cold War with mom.
This year, I chose to have it with mom. Nothing much; the next morning I just woke up realising that I had missed the entire of day one visitation. It was deliberate, we were intentionally left out by dad. Just because we missed reunion dinner on his side to have it with mom? (who have had no reunion dinners ever since the fall out).
Am I wrong? To have reunion dinner with my mother who has no family nor relatives here in Singapore (except for us) and had spent the past 10 years or so alone on cny eve? She didn't complain until last year. So what is this one-off absence such a big deal to you? Just because we didn't play our role (literally) to put up a show for the eyes of the rest of the family?
Everything is so superficial I don't even want to act. I hope people would realise that I won't even bother giving face when I don't give a shit about something.
I hadn't realised this until Daniel told me. How our aunts and uncles scrutinise us, as though they are trying to find something to pick on us. I don't believe so, but that's what he proposed. Sometimes he can be right.
So sick of this shit & those punishments. What did I do to deserve these?
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